The subtle and secretive art of seduction has been developed and harnessed for thousands of years and which is more important than ever before. The art of seduction is the art of drawing and leading someone away from something else to acquire something from the target. Some may call this unethical or manipulative, but whether you acknowledge it or not, you attempt to seduce and are seduced everyday.
When you turn on the news, watch a commercial, or listen to the radio, you are constantly bombarded with attempts to infiltrate your mind and captivate your attention.
Interpersonal interactions are a subtle clash of everyone’s interest and the one who properly maneuvers and charms the right people will achieve their end goal.
It is only to your benefit that you educate yourself and master this art. Even if your goal is not to use it, you must know it to protect yourself from being used.
Here are 10 Dark Psychological Tricks to Influence Someone
Disclaimer: Use these for ethical purposes and only with pure intentions.
- Send Mixed Signals- Learn the art of portraying opposite characteristics of yourself. People like to generalize and compartmentalize others. As humans we make many assumptions about people based on their appearance, their voice, their clothes. We observe patterns in the world, and when we find someone who can break those patterns they draw our attention. Being an indecipherable enigma, will cause your target to spend more neurological energy on you, and you will start to encompass their thoughts. This is the first step to attraction. Marilyn Monroe was the quintessential example of this. She was childish in person, and sensual on screen, creating a mystique that no other Hollywood actress had at her time.
- Preselection- Once you are an object of their imagination, learn to show how others also think the same of you, and are competing for your attention. Hint to your target that you are wanted by others as a friend, as an associate, and maybe even as a lover. Subtly mention them in a conversation, to implant the idea that there are others who desire you as well. This can instill jealousy in your target, which will spur them to pursue you more. Cleopatra was an expert at creating desire. Though she had average features, she garnered the attention of men all over the world. Julius Caesar and Marc Antony were among the few men who would eviscerate nations just to be with her.
- Become a source of validation and comfort- Through conversation with your target, you will learn of their deep ambitions and dreams that they hope to accomplish. You will also learn of the troubles they face. This could be in family life, work, or personal goals they haven’t achieved. Once they have become vulnerable to you, provide them with a sense of comfort, and validation about their dreams. Leave them with an unforgettable feeling of contentment, and they will attach that feeling to you. Your presence and positive attention will become something they crave. But you must not come across as intrusive when talking about their deep desires. Make them feel as if they were the one who willingly opened up to you. Sigmund Freud was a master at this. Many of his clients grew emotionally attached to him, because of the way he so delicately caused them to open up their deepest feelings to him.
- Become a Master of Words- Learn to use compliments strategically. Analyze your target and investigate what their insecurities are. Nothing is more debilitating than having insecurities which can translate into social anxiety and performance anxiety. By locating what those insecurities are, and being able to soothe them with your thoughtful words, they will want to return to you, and be around you more. A deep desire to constantly be with you will grow inside them. Your words have the potential to become addictive to them, and serve as an antidote to their anxieties. John F Kennedy was able to shift American public consciousness away from the past and artfully depict a new America that would venture into the new frontier of space. This gripped the public, and gave JFk a godly aura.
- Pay Attention To Detail- In conversation, people reveal more than you initially pick up on. They show what they love, what they fear, what they revile. By paying attention to their tone of voice, body language, and facial expressions, you can learn twice the amount of what they are telling you. Be very keen on their words as well. By paying attention to what they talk about, you can gauge their interests, and hobbies. With this knowledge you hold immense power to create a lasting impression on them, and can bring them to a new level of interest in you. Simply giving them a thoughtful gift relating to something they are truly passionate about, will embed the thought of you in them, and will create a lasting bond to you. Think about someone who remembered all the little details you told them about, and reminded you about them in the future, or gave you something related to that. You never expected them to be so focused on you, but knowing that they were makes you admire them even more.
- Poeticize Your Presence- Be an elusive object of desire, that is associated with many strong emotions. This could be love, fear, or even ecstatic joy. But never overexpose yourself. When you are with them, give them 100% of your time. When you are not with them, give them none of it. Make them miss you and fantasize, poeticize you in their mind. When you are interested in someone you want to seduce, you naturally want to be around them all the time. But as a seducer, it takes discipline to restrict your attention. This is one of the hardest rules to follow, but is crucial to them not losing interest and further idealizing you in their mind. Think of the story of the Phantom of the Opera. He was not always with Christine, but when he was he gave her an ethereal and sometimes scary experience. He took root in her mind more than any other character.
- Disarm them Through Selective Vulnerability- The person you are trying to seduce may grow suspicious of you and put up emotional defenses. It is your job to allay these doubts by displaying your own weaknesses and vulnerabilities. Talk about one of your insecurities, make sure it is genuine but not too extreme. By speaking about what you feel bad about, and having them provide comfort, their egos are built up, and they feel they have earned more of your friendship, since they have helped you. By creating sympathy in someone for you, you can soften your exterior and conceal any tactics you might be using. Additionally, by combining their sympathy with the comfort, validation, jealousy and curiosity they have for you, you grow more enchanting. Many criminals holding hostages have used this. They build trust with them, and use that trust to exploit them.
- Have them Open Up About Their Childhood- When your target talks about a pain that they had in their childhood, it can stir up deep and repressed emotions in them. Many people are oblivious to the effect childhood has on them as a person. Insecurities and deep fears are attached to childhood moments, but they are left undiscovered for most people. Lead them into opening up to you about their childhood, and by doing so, uncover the roots of their insecurities and fears. Comfort them emotionally, physically and verbally. This will create a powerful bond between you, and can even escalate to love. When you become the one person, they have explored themselves with and found deepest comfort in, you have the potential to create love. Sigmund Freud is another prime example of this tactic, and many other therapists have used this as well.
- Stir up the Transgressive and the Taboo- People have a desire to break the rules and fear being caught at something. A slight element of danger creates a bond between you and your target. This is why bad boys or people unafraid to break social norms have had such an appeal throughout the decades. Think about whenever you broke a school rule in secret and you almost got caught. There was a massive surge of adrenaline in you and you feel a greater connection to the person you did it with. Likewise by giving your target a rush of adrenaline or sense of secrecy to your activities, you can create a rare bond with them, which they never forget. London mobster Reggie Kray swept away his innocent and young girlfriend. Francis Shay by enticing her with his grand, and illegal lifestyle. But also by showing her a vulnerable, complex man who had his demons and needed her care.
- Mix Pleasure with Pain- As a source of positive emotion, you inherently hold the power to be a source of negative emotion. The lower the lows, the higher the highs. Do not be afraid to push your target away at times. Make them feel guilty that they have done something wrong. Inflicting the fear of loss will cause them to fight back for your attention and once you give it back, it will create in them a heightening sense of relief and appreciation for you. The polarity we feel between our emotions is what makes them so raw and powerful. If someone always compliments you, they’re compliments stop meaning so much. If someone always insults you, they’re insults stop meaning so much. The sharp contrast in interactions causes you to take root in their mind. Realize this tactic, and it will prove powerful. Henry and Karen from Goodfellas had a tumultuous relationship, with several times where they alternated between rage, and ecstatic romance. This polarity kept them hooked to each other, and they ended up married their whole life.
These 10 tactics are used throughout your daily life, and can elicit powerful responses on every scale imaginable. Employ them correctly and you can prove to be a master seducer. Or use them to spot out the intentions and manipulations of others and protect yourself. Either way, these tools will help you become a more socially savvy individual with a keen sense of the subtle social game we all are players in.
Stay tuned for more lessons on the intricacies of psychology, attraction, and power.